Monday, August 23, 2010

Words of Wisdom from a Mom of Multiples

Today I found this great post at Multiplemama. I laughed out loud so I just had to share it. Thank you, Andie for your wonderful talent to share the humor of motherhood. She is such a great Mom Blogger.

You can buy all the books like What to Expect when you’re Expecting, Sleep Training for Dummies, and How to have a Zen Baby. But when it comes down to it and that little baby is in your arms you learn a few things your mother and all those books never even mentioned. Most especially your mother because she had her career as a grandmother at stake.

1) Your abdominal muscles are not going to forgive you anytime soon.
Recovery time after being stretched like a Gumby doll is going to be at least twice as long as the time it took to grow that baby. And exponentially longer if you had more than one in there at a time. But, they most likely will not ever look the same.

2) Breast feeding can give you stretch marks on your boobs. Which by the way are not going to ever be half as perky as they were before. But no matter because they are now more commonly thought of as a snack bar, and all cuteness is pretty much out of the question.

3) You thought granny panties were big, wait til you see the ones they give you to wear in the hospital after delivery.

4) Motherhood causes one to refer to oneself in the third person.
And no not by the name your parents gave you but, “Mommy.” “Mommy said no.” Will become your go to phrase for quite some time.

5) But not to worry. Because even when the kid is older you will be, “so and so’s mommy.” So you can practically forget using your real first name and not even notice it’s gone.

6) There are teams to be chosen. Breastfeeding vs. Formula, CIO vs. Attachment, Homeschool vs. traditional school, mom jeans vs. still trying to be a teenager jeans, green organic mommy vs. diet coke and fries mommy, and the list goes on so choose wisely and carefully the members of these teams mean business.

7) Laundry is now the driving force behind your sanity. And don’t be fooled that little seven pound bundle of joy can produce his own weight in dirty laundry by the hour!

8 ) The more kids you have the harder it is to carry on a conversation with friends who do not have kids. This boils down to one factor. Eye contact. Before you had kids you could afford to have eye contact with whomever you were speaking to. Now you must keep your eyes on the wandering children and keep tabs at all times on locations and activities. People without children will stop talking when you look away and never be able to complete a sentence let alone the conversation.

9) Yes, it does get easier. People will tell you that a lot. But, not let on to the fact that the minute it gets easier they get mobile. So, while that little guy may be able to feed himself his own breakfast now. He can also tun through the halls screaming after tearing off his own diaper.

10) It is even more fun than you thought it was going to be. But, you have got to be fast if you’re gonna keep up so wear some comfortable shoes!

Go and visit Andie at Multiple Mama and make comments. Jet her know how much you appreciate her blog.

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